Dear Diary
by idareyou2stay
Summary: a view into the diaries of fractured relationships and developing ones
1. Chapter 1

I have ruined my life and I have no idea what to do. I never imagined one little text message would change the whole course of my life. Damn text messages, they can be a wonderful quick way to communicate but they can not in any way convey the emotions that one is feeling. I learned this the hard way and now I find myself without a girlfriend but with a roommate who used to be my girlfriend.

I never meant to end our relationship but somehow it just happened. I still don't know how the conversation got so out of hand. I just wanted Spencer to be happy all the time. I wanted to make her happy at any cost but towards the end of our official relationship she never seemed happy. It's hard when you don't know how to make the one you love happy.

Now I'm stuck in this crazy half relationship. I am still very much in love with Spencer but I fear she has completely fallen out of love with me. I don't know if there is any way back to the relationship we had but I desperately want it back. I don't know what I can do to prove to Spencer that I really want us to be a couple. I am completely in love with her; I have never stopped loving her.

How do you admit to someone who has become content with a non loving relationship that you want more again? I'm not used to wanting something I can't have. Honestly I've never had problems with having women in my bed or woman adoring me. But now I am stuck in this situation and I don't know how in the world I can survive this. I'm deeply in love with Spencer but how do I get her back? I really need to figure this out.


	2. Chapter 2

I can't believe she would do something like this. She had to text me while I was at work didn't she. If she didn't want to be with me anymore couldn't she at least have said it to my face? Now I'm stuck in a tiny apartment with someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore, how is this fair?

My mother warned me that this girl would break my heart but I just never thought it would be this way. I figured she'd just cheat on me or something, not just flat out give me some bull shit reason why we shouldn't be together. I mean I changed my entire life just to be with her. I have passed up opportunities just so we could stay together and this is the thanks I get?

The unfortunate fact of my now ex-girlfriends timing is that my coworkers were around to see my reaction to this news. And of course I met my new boss about ten minutes after the text message exchange. I must have made a great first impression. I tried to hold back the tears as long as I could but I am only human after all. My eyes must have been red as hell. I'm sure she was wondering if I was a pot head or just an emotional wreck. It's not like you can just tell the new boss, hey sorry my girlfriend just broke up with me while I was sitting here at work.

Beyond the crappy day she caused me to have things were otherwise looking up really. My new boss seems really nice. She's about my age and seems really nice. Despite my emotional rollercoaster she gave me two new projects to work on, well it's really just one big project with two components. I will be working with her sister to develop an idea for her next video and shoot it as well. Then we'll come up with the album art for her new record. I love working with musicians so I am thrilled to start. Especially given my rocky life at home, it will be really nice to sink my teeth into something new.


	3. Chapter 3

I have to admit I love being the new boss. Everyone kisses your ass, trying to make a good impression. It's a great boost for one's ego. I have high hopes for this little film company I am taking over. Right now all they have been doing is small commercials and print ads but I want to change all of that. My first step is to bring my sister in as a client but I had to find the right person to work with her because Ashley Davies is definitely picky.

As I met everyone I had an idea of who I wanted to work with my sister. I had heard from a few people that Spencer Carlin was an up and coming star when it came to video production. She just had an eye for what worked and what didn't. But when I met her I was a bit confused. I was told how level headed she was in any circumstance but yet when I met her she looked extremely emotional. I'm sure there was something behind it but knew she wasn't about to spill her guts to the new boss. Hopefully with a little time she will feel comfortable enough to talk to me.

Despite her emotional state I still gave her the job. From all accounts she was the best so she was my choice. I'll give her a few days to calm down and get some ideas formulated before I approach her again, I'm sure by then she will be ready to talk business.

When I told Ashley about my idea and described who she would be working with she actually seemed excited. Sometimes I think I am the only person she trusts in the world. If I say this is who you should work with she does, lucky for her I have wonderful instincts.

I just really hope that Spencer can pull herself together and prove me right.


End file.
